Live Journal

This blog hasn't really attracted readers, other than robot dancer, so I'm trying again elsewhere:

http://shaveyourbrain.livejournal.com/

Idiocracy now

According to today's paper 41% of Jingo County's adult population is 'functionally illiterate.' And this is an average town in a 'first world' country.

If you're not scared of our future then your not paying close enough attention.

Wisdom of the ages

“..it takes stamina to be a drunk.”
-Charles Bokowski

I'm never going to change that much, I do believe this. Why should I become any more 'responsible' than I need to be? The American Dream is a death trap. Once you buy into it you can't run around having fun anymore, you'll just be chained to various payments until your withered and old. Get what enjoyment out of life that is possible. The 'society' that your wearing yourself out for doesn't give a rat's ass about you. You'll be sucked dry and cast aside. It's all a sham anyway. Our democracy is really an oligarchy. A handful of really rich fuckers control the major parties and will continue to work together to keep a third party from ever posing a threat ever. You are a pawn and will continue to be one.

So live as much as you can while you can, soon enough we'll all be dead.

My Eyes

"The goggles...they do nothing."
-Rainer Wolfcastle
Simpsons Episode: Radioactive Man

Now I remember why I started writing...the outside world sucks. I can't even go outside in Spring without my eyeballs burning from pollen and air pollution. Yeesh.

Brain cells flicker on

I got an A on one mid-term, a B+ on another, a B on the third. Apparently I am still a functional machine. I must not be as fried as I've believed. I wonder how there is such a gulf between my real life and the one in my head. I must be throughly delusional. I wonder how much of my supposed decline over the past four years has been imaginary.

Darkness Falls

Night can be depressing in this town.

Not that there's anything to do while the sun is up either...

I have tried the reduced dose of Navane. I think I felt almost awake today. It was a strange feeling. Someday the old levels of energy and desire for life will come back, I'm convinced of it. These things go in circles. I will not be defeated forever. I just have some psychological weight attached to me, that I'm dragging behind me on my march through existence. I will figure out what that weight is, then I will be able to cut it loose.

Release the beast

My dose of anti-psychotics is being reduced. This is fortunate, because it was turning me into a vegetable. Maybe I'll start having freak outs again, but I'll take partial treatment over a total treatment that leaves me feeling flat and depressed all the time. I really hope that I stop feeling so heavily sedated. If I don't then there may really be some disease involved. I have no history of narcolepsy, so I would imagine that my sleeping all the time is the result of some new health problem.

There are five weeks of school left, not including the finals. This is bad. My energy for school is totally spent. I need summer vacation badly. I want those three months where all I have to do is work some job in town, with no two hour daily commute and no worrying about grades.

I must add that I am working on another story which no one will bother to review on Fictionpress. I checked the site counter, people have accessed 'Jumper,' but no one has bothered to tell me what they thought of it. I guess people either hate the story or are too lazy to type a few sentences in my direction.